Heart Chakra, Throat Chakra

Gender reveal parties!

I’ve been sooo excited to find out the sex of the baby that I just couldn’t wait anymore. My family planned to reveal the baby sex during a gender reveal party march 4th, after finding out the sex January 30, 2018. Of course everyone thought that waiting until March was entirely tooo long to wait!

The first weekend in February my job unexpectedly held a dinner to celebrate my pregnancy, I thought it was a bit weird because they never did this for other workers who were previously/currently expecting, but hey I didn’t question anything. For the dinner everyone was instructed to wear all black, but me. I ended up wearing some form of black anyway lol…. Anyway when I arrived to the restaurant the table was decorated with a box in the middle.

We wanted for a few other people to come, but in the mean time we took a group picture of those when were there at the moment.

After waiting everyone arrived, my co-worker who was hosting the dinner insisted on me opening the box before we ordered our food…I was super excited to see what was in the little grey box, I thought it was a cake until I opened it. My heart dropped

Inside the box revealed the gender, I instantly started crying lol. I was so confused on how my boss found out the sex of the baby. I never been so happy in my life. Now all I could think of was how was I going to act when my family decided to do their gender reveal dinner.

This was inside the box, cute little dress, a baby pandora bracelet and the cutest little shoes ever!

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March 4th finally arrived and I played along that I had no idea of what the sex of the baby could be. I was asked to leave my home for a few hours while my friends decorated my house. So I went to get my hair done and I’m ended up being late for my own party lol!

I originally invited only 20 people, but over 45 people crowded my home.. I was excited to see my family, high school and college friends I haven’t seen in years! A few games were played, food was prepared, everyone appeared to be having a great time! It was time to reveal the baby, my heart was racing I didn’t know how I was going to pretend like didn’t already know I’m bad at lying lol.

AND……..it was a girl!!!! Lol my mother instantly started crying, my surprise reaction was horrible lol, but I held it together lol!

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Heart Chakra, Solar Chakra

Past 5 months…

I really must get better with blogging! Every day I blog in my head, but never really find the time to sit down and blog. . I always end up doing paperwork, but that’s beside the point of this blog.
Today I want to talk about the past 5-month journey I’ve endured. Sometime in October I found out I was expecting my very own jelly bean. I had a lot of mixed emotions, my idea of how I wanted to live my life, well…. “Kids” just want quite in the picture. Everyone around me was filled with excitement except for me. The thought of having a carry a kid absolutely scared me, but the idea of aborting one just was never an option either. Throughout this journey I became depressed. Frequent crying spells, isolating myself, lack of concentration, feeling hopeless, sleeping awfully a lot, and bad anxiety. I never thought in a million years something that should be full of excitement and beautiful can make a person feel so down. I knew I wasn’t going to be successful in my graduate program, so I withdrew from courses.
I found myself reflecting a lot on how working in the mental health field, you educate you clients on their mental health diagnosis as well as teaching them ways to cope. Then you wonder why everyday your clients struggle to manage and cope with their symptoms. I couldn’t cope or manage because I wasn’t ready too, I was in denial, I didn’t take my mental state serious. It’s so much easier to be miserable than to put forth effort to be happy or to enjoy life. My doctor didn’t want to prescribe me medication because she knew that I would over these symptoms/feelings… and I did! I had to start using the material I teach my clients. I had to accept that I’m pregnant. I asked myself several times, “when’s the right time to have a baby, has anyone ever been prepared?” I had to write down the pros and cons of my situation and I realized that the pros outweighed the cons. I began to pay attention to my body! Hearing the baby’s heartbeat, feeling those little kicks, staring ultrasound pictures… The process grew on me, I started to smile more, I began to exercise often, and meditate.
I can now say I’m absolutely excited to meet my little jelly bean when the time comes! I no longer feel down about my decision or carrying this child. My ideal of how I want to live my life has the same goals, but now includes being a great mother and loving this baby unconditionally!

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Crown Chakra, Heart Chakra, Root Chakra, Sacral Chakra, Solar Chakra, Third Eye Chakra, Throat Chakra

Reflection of 2017

Going into and maintaining throughout the year of 2017 has been the toughest task of my life.  “Dont expect others to value you as much as you value yourself” -Moore. 2017 started off with a break/separation that was long over due from one person I expected to cherish me the most. December 16, 2016 I moved out of a home I shared with my “other half” into my own space. Living alone on my own for the first time in life was pretty depressing starting off. I struggled with having steady income, being behind in school and failing courses in graduate school. My self-esteem hit rock bottom and I was completely unhappy with life. One day I began to write in my box and the first thing I wrote to myself was ” Self-love and Self-care, learn it”. From that moment I no longer wanted to dwell on what was and I decided to stop stressing over little things.

“Growth is a must. Starve your distractions  and feed  your focus” – Eball. It was time to focus and find things that made me happy and learn to be independent without depending/needing the presence of others.  So I did that! I recorded my progress in my box. I decided to delete all social media for a year, take a break from school and just go on this self exploration journey! Mission accomplished…. 2017 I renewed my passport and traveled to two places out the country I’ve never been and one recurring place. I traveled to over 20 new states this year.

“The more we learn, the more we learn, the more we have to learn” K. Anderson. As the year progressed I’ve learned more and more about myself. I’ve learned how to be humble (hardest task ever)  I’ve learned happiness, I’ve learned how to meditate properly and become more grounded, I’ve learned inner peace, I’ve learned that I wear my emotions on my sleeve and talking to someone always helps. I’ve learned not to take things serious, I am no longer AS agressive as I use to be, I’ve learned that I gain satisfaction by seeing other happy. I’ve learned to give advice, I’ve learned to be more productive with my job, I’ve learned coping skills from work that I was able to utilize for myself.

Lastly I learned “true love = trust = health = promise = faith = unity = peace = mind = strength = forgiveness = life = you”-Amal. Best part about my struggle was having the support from work and my friends. Always surround yourself with positive beings! Any obstacle is nothing more but a life lesson. A year full of chaos was nothing more than a beautiful struggle I endured on my own.

Everyone knows that I grew as the only child and spoiled. But my mom cut the cord once I graduated from undergraduate school. I accomplished so much on my own this year (even though I graduated two years ago). I am ending 2017 with positivity and a smile. OOOOHHHH I also learned that I am expecting and I looking forward to meeting my little one when that time comes. In 2018 my goal is to be a more balanced individual and an awesome mom!!!

 

“Remember to love selflessly not selfishly”

12/31/2017

p.s All quotes came from my box of 2017 from co-workers and family members! thank you guys again.

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Root Chakra, Solar Chakra, Third Eye Chakra, Throat Chakra

Box of 2017

Going into the new year of 2017 started off pretty rough. The clinician at my previous job gave me the idea of making a forgiveness box for those who brought negativity in my life. I started off with the first couple of sticky notes with forgiveness statements and quotes, but I realized I didn’t really want to do that anymore. I wanted to create box where for the year of 2017 I write down things I was going to learn from, life experiences, things I would accomplish, quotes/book sayings or even advice given by family friends. Of course I also wanted to keep the forgiveness thing going as well.

I brought a safe box from Walmart and attempted to decorate it but using spray paint and glitter, unfortunately it didn’t come out the way I vision it would be. As the year began to pass by I began to have others participate as well, I took my box to work encouraging my coworkers to write things they have learned so far this year whether it be from a quote or life experiences. I also had my clients and friends participate too! Anyone who came to visit while at home had to write in the box before entering my home. The goal is to see how much everyone actually progressed through the year. Are people actually paying attention to what goes on in their lives? Are they learning from positive or negative life experiences? Have any changes been made? From December of 2016-December of 2017 I  promised not to read any of the submission until New Years Eve.

WELL today is my lucky day! I am super excited to see what others have written as well as myself. Thank you to everyone who participated!

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Heart Chakra, Root Chakra

Haiti

SOOOOOOOO I’ve been attempting to live my best life toward the end of 2017! In the month of December I have made two trips, the goal is take three trips out the country a year and so far I’ve reached that goal

Haiti was definitely on my dream place list to the point a couple of year ago I consider moving to Haiti for a few years. Unfortunately so many things has happen in the world I had to reconsider that decision. Anyways I was super excited about this trip I started counting down the days!

When arriving to Haiti the weather was not the best, it was storming in Haiti like tropical rainforest type rain it was horrible. But of course I was not going to let the rain ruin my fun. What’s a little water or a lot of water? shit I’m in Haiti and I’m natural rain doesn’t bother me at all. I took french for about ALL my life so I could speak a little something to the natives. I definitely greeted everyone I saw due to my excitement. First destination while it was raining was the beach of course and I got in the water, because I’m on vacation and besides the rain falling it was hot out!

Haiti was absolutely beautiful, the people were friendly, the music was nice, the entertainment was great, the men were nice/dark just how I like my coffee and the food, the food was excellent!!!! Unfortunately because it was raining, my camera got wet and I couldn’t take as many picture as I liked. But Haiti is a trip I will definitely have to do again in the summer.


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Throat Chakra

Ginger

September 10th I decided to overcome my fear of cats and purchase a kitten. Now I’ve been debating that decision for year now and lately everyone I was coming in contact with had a pet cat. I felt like it was a sign and it was about that time for me to face my fear. I decided that if I’m going to get a cat it will be one everyone fears the most… a BLACK a cat! There was a shelter not far from my apartment that was having a discounted sale on kittens. When we got to the shelter I was instantly terrified there were cats everywhere, I’ve never seen so many damn cats especially out of their cages walking around, I almost had a heart attack. The worker expressed that there are always more cats in shelters than dogs because people are less likely to adopt them. Me of course as she talked, all I’m thinking is ” I don’t want no big as cat, I need to start small”.

There was another trailer where they kept the kittens, again I was still scared I didn’t even want to pick one up, my friends were like “Fatima are you sure you want to do this?”,, After an hour I see one little black/smoke color kitten, she was the only that didn’t cry or meow a complete mute. I instantly fell in love!! When I asked questions about her and showed interest they said she had a heart murmur and advised I not get her. Long story short I got her anyway, went to a thrift store, got her a litter box, food bowl, a cat brush and a bed.

Her first month with me she was such a quiet kitten and peaceful, but when the month was up she began to terrorize everything. Curtains destroyed, furniture destroyed, and she ran through the house like a dog, but she’s gotten a lot better with not destroying things! Now its December she has all her shots, no longer needs a heart murmur and I wouldn’t trade my baby ginger in for the world, she gets on my nerves and she’s extremely sneaking but she is also a kitten and so curious about everything!

Meet Ginger:

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Throat Chakra

Vegan Chili

Yeah I’m not consistent when it comes to blogging daily, weekly or monthly! When you do as much paperwork as I do, the thought of writing a blog can be a very dreadful thought.

ANYWAYS, a couple of week ago I made some bomb vegan chili for the first time! Now I will buy vegan food at like a restaurant but to actually make a dish, wasn’t as hard as I thought it was going to be.

vegan chilli

So I didn’t go out and buy anything for this recipe I just finessed whatever I had already in my house, but as you can see I used several easy things to make it.


recipe included:

Red beans from a can

Bell peppers any color as you can see

onions

tomatoes

garlic I used only two

coconut oil (only oil I cook with)

chili powder

black pepper

a little bit of cayenne pepper

ketchup

and a bit of water

oh and vegetable broth

IT WAS Delicious !!Funny thing is I never ate chili before I struggled to find what I would eat it with… I settle with bread lol!

 

 

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