Recently I was informed by my doctor that I’m negative blood type and that I needed to eliminate certain foods out my diet. Now everyone who knows me know I am a pretty healthy eater. I’ve tried the vegan lifestyle, enjoyed it but it wasn’t for me and vegetarian as well but I love fish tooo much! Sadly my doctor told me I had to eliminate the fish part and only consume veggies, fruits and whatever else that would provide me protein. Well above there is a piece of fish in the picture of course, tuna steak to be exact! Now I’ve been eating salads for lunch for two weeks straight with fish, trying to be on this weight loss journey and become more healthier. Needless to say I am miserable lol salads are starting to taste like grass and after my workouts I’m always extremely hungry. I enjoy being a pescatarian and I dread the idea of not eating fish anymore. I gained more weight attempting to be a vegan/vegetarian than I have eating fish. Taking any supplement or pill is against everything I stand for, so the idea of taking a b12 supplement isn’t an option for me especially when I can eat fish. I can say my diet is weird, I don’t like eggs, milk (unless its almond milk), and certain cheese. Guess I’m all over the place! Still trying to figure things out, but If you’re reading this post and have any suggestions to make the journey less hectic please don’t hesitate to comment.
Word choice: Beyond, Circumstance, Joy
I try to never let negative people and horrible circumstances steal my joy. One bad situation can bring stress upon anyone and how you react to it determines your emotional state. I read a book by Robert Schram called “Maximize Life by Living for Peace, Harmony and Joy.” In this book, her states “bring joy to wherever you go and do not react to circumstances. You make your own circumstances and can change those that discourage, or bring you and others down” (Schram, pp. 281). He helped me realize that no matter the circumstances are every situation has potential to bring gratitude and happiness to your life. Nowadays I attempt shed light on everything even if it’s the hardest thing to do. Be the light and shine light one.
I’m doing the seven days of affirmations presented by the lovely journalist Alex Elle.
Its day two and I am a bit behind on the challenged but better late than never right! As a counselor, I educate my clients on gratitude journals and positive affirmations, but never really took the time to try it out myself so here it goes. It’s not easy to think of positive things to say and I never really say anything positive about myself.
Day1: Word choice are Love, Prevails and Trials
Life is a big method of trial and error. Some people tend to be discourage when they have attempted to do something and failed in the process. Personally, I keep trying until the success is achieved but some people might just give up. Example of Trial and Error in my life: Last post I talked about going biking, now I didn’t know how to ride the bike but I kept trying until it became natural to ride. Some things in life require you to fail, it’s simply a lesson. Just because you failed at doing something doesn’t make you a failure but it should motivate the person to want to do better or at least learn from their experiences.
Day2: Word choice Hurt, Healing, Forward
If you ever been hurt your bound to feel vulnerable, it’s natural. I’ve been hurt several times and angry with everyone. I decided to be miserable and dwelled on being hurt than trying to move forward. When your hurt you tend to feel stuck in one place and you get nowhere. I used to question how do I get through this? where so I start in order to move forward? why am I not strong enough? Or often compared my misery to others. Healing isn’t an easy process, but if learn ways to cope with your emotions or have a support circle it can be. Choose progression and growth over any obstacle in life.
So since my last post I’ve been doing things I wouldn’t normally do. It’s usually hard for me to break my normal routine, but after awhile you will realize that your life need new adventures.
Day 1. Biking
Never have I ever thought I would learn how to ride a bike….. YES LEARN at the age of 24 I have never owned a bike. After a few falls and attempts, I mastered the skill. Biking was a very tiring expereince especially for a person who’s not in perfect shape, but I absolutely loved it. I felt amazing after riding, my heart rate was up, my body was more relaxed, I met alot of people and the scenary of the trails are awesome! Purchasing my own bike is currently a goal.
Day 2. Yoga In the Park
Yoga in the park is a thing! It comes every summer and leaves by winter. I’ve been doing yoga in the park since summer of 2016 and now it’s back. This day was extremely hot and first day of doing yoga again was tough. I enjoy doing yoga because it keeps me grounded and focused. Yoga helps me feel alive and present. Working in the mental health field doing yoga teaches me how to breathe and learn how to react to stress peacefully. Yoga makes me feel strong and liberated! I encourage everyone to do yoga as much as possible.
Day 3. Indoor Rock climbing
A friend of mine talked me into rocking climbing, he stated that this sport helps reduce stress, increase brain functioning and build confidence. Well…. I was trying to figure out where the hell he got this information from because I almost had an anxiety attack lol. I have a huge fear of heights, so rock climbing was quite an experience. Mentally I believe rock climbing teaches you determination, even though by body was tired by the second go round I wanted to finish. Nothing else mattered the goal was for me not to give up and I didn’t! Now what made it hard for me was that once I reached the top I was afraid to come back down. I refused to jump off the wall and use the rope to come down, so instead I climbed down. My body was extremely sore rock climbing requires a lot of strength, strength in which I lacked lol! It was an experience maybe I workout a few times before I decide to do it again.
Day 4. Soccer
Once upon a time I played soccer in my youth. This day a few of my girlfriends and I decided to give it a shot! Boy was it an epic fail, it was fun but we were all rusty! None of us were physically in shape to run from one goal to another, were definitely burnt out really quick. Having fun was the ultimate accomplishment, everyone should play a sport you’re not good at it brings laughter.
A few weeks ago, I decided to go camping for a weekend and it was such an amazing experience. Working in the mental health can be very challenging sometimes and I get overwhelmed with life very quick. Now one thing I learned in grad school was that self-care is extremely important. It’s so easy for me to neglect the idea of taking care of myself when I’m swap with things to do. I needed a peace of mind and even though camping was something “simple” to do, it felt like luxury. Growing up in inner city life as I a child, camping was never an option on my “fun” list of things in the summer. So of course going camping at the age of 24 for the FIRST time in LIFE was a HUGE deal!
Not one skyscraping building on site! that made me nervous! Curvy roads, no city lights, no food markets, no gas stations, water wells, endless land, bear, not a public school, corner store insight and most importantly, phone reception. “What the fuck, how am I going to survive?” was the thought lingering!
After a two-hour drive, we arrived at the camp site. My heart sunk, I felt like I was in a really bad old horror movie. We weren’t allowed to shower, the camps had spiders and the toilet…. well I just leave that one alone. I assumed that this was going to be a back experience, but it was TOP ten the best things I’ve ever done.
This was a great way to immerse myself in nature for the weekend! Hiking was the only thing I wanted to do. Hiking was so exciting, my mood changed and I became less stressed. Admiring the scenery, the distance hiking up the mountain didn’t matter. I felt nothing but freedom.
By dark, my concerns were no longer concerns. I enjoyed being unavailable, I enjoyed not having to worry about anything, I enjoyed the sound of the streams, the frogs, night creatures and whistling wind. I enjoyed lighting a campfire, bonding with strangers and telling stories. Most of all, I enjoyed meditating, connecting with myself, stargazing and having peace.
I was rejuvenated after this trip, I wished I went camping as kid. When you avoid things that make you feel mentally and physically well, little things will take a toll on you. Self-care only works when you listen to your body without resistance. My body was telling me I needed a break and it was time to do something for me! I was relaxed, free and I felt great. Always take care of yourself, listen to your body and NEVER put yourself last…
Lately. . . .
After reflecting on my day and reading this quote, I realized that when I interact with certain individuals in particular settings I attempt to impress them.
Now I’m questioning why do I do that? Why don’t I realize it at that given moment? Was I attention seeking ? Was this apart of my insecurities?
Why am I attempting to impress?
Trying to impress others does nothing but hurt the individual trying to hard. I’m realizing that I don’t surround myself around individuals who think highly of me, so I try to change people perception of me. I tend to feel like I don’t fit in or I can’t be myself around others. Sadly when I’m around people you might think I should be comfortable around I feel the same. I feel like I’m not loved, unappreciated, unnoticed, etc…
How I would address the issue moving forward
My actions stem from a lack of confidence and an abundance of insecurities. I have to try focusing on how to build up my self-confidence, becoming more open minded, accepting things for what they are, and increasing self-awareness.
For those who can relate keep in mind that you are perfect no matter what emotions you’re feeling. No need to impress when you’re already impressive!
When spring comes around I love to work outside. As I type away on my laptop, I couldn’t help but to be distracted by my beautiful surroundings. I love to see other people enjoy the park just as much as I do, the families, the music, the flowers, the birds, I could keep going….
Things I enjoyed while at the park:
The relationship between bees and flowers…..
Noticing the little things…..
The feeling of the sun on my skin….
The waves of the water……
These distractions assisted with my mental fatigue. I was calm, I was relaxed and I was restoring my mind!